I might log in drunk exactly one year from today, just to see how much more crappy it's gotten.
Will that destroy the remote particle's self-interference fringes? If so, then we have our ansible.
You can't get enough information from a single particle to know for sure whether or not it interfered with itself as it passed through the slits. And when you try it with multiple particles, you can only figure out which ones interfered and which ones did not after you match them up with measurements taken at the other end of the experiment.
Whether the particles are entangled or not, the results at both detectors taken in aggregate look the same. The effects of entanglement only appear when you correlate both result sets.
the young earthers are already jumping on this to try and disprove carbon dating
Apparently the effect slows the rate of decay, meaning the isotopes are actually slightly older than estimated.
I've noticed several design suggestions in your code.