"You obviously have never seen dolphins carried in slings, lifted with cranes, etc. "
You're right! Could you please show me pictures of a 3 ton whale being lifted by a crane, on sand, in a place like farewell spit in NZ (wee hint, farewell spit is in the middle of nowhere and you'd have to get this crane a few Kms along the spit)? https://goo.gl/yt8kpV
"They may not love it. But it can be done."
so can keeping them wet until the tide comes back in. What the fuck do you think is easier?
"Some day, your parents are going to have to roll you up the basement stairs and out the front door to get a job. You probably won't like it much when it happens either."
OW OW OW!!! MY FEELINGS!!!! OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!! TOUGH GUY ON INTERNET TYPED BAD THINGS!!!!
In the face of such stupidity, I'll leave you to consider reality, rather than this fantasy of cranes on a spit lifting whales stuck down in wet sand.