It's not quite as insane as you would like to suggest. If you read the summary below, and apply it to the examples you offered, you'll see that none would be examples in which you'd be legally justified in using deadly force.
Laws vary by state. In Pennsylvania (From http://www.pennlago.com/justif...):
Summary of The Castle Doctrine:
- You must not be the initial aggressor. You have to come to the situation free of any provocation. You have to come to the situation with "clean hands."
- There is no duty to retreat at home or at work (remember the co-worker exception).
- There is a presumption that you reasonably believed deadly force was necessary to avoid death, serious bodily injury, kidnapping, or sexual intercourse by force or threat, IF:
- Somebody is in the process of unlawfully and forcefully entering your dwelling, residence or car (provided you're in the car);
Somebody has unlawfully and forcefully entered your dwelling, residence or car (provided you're in the car); or
- Somebody is or is attempting to unlawfully and forcefully remove you or somebody else, against the will of the individual being removed, from your dwelling, residence or car (if they're removing you or trying to, it's safe to say you're in the car).
- The person has to be someone who has no right to be there. So, it is always best to identify your target. You cannot claim the Castle Doctrine protections if your teenager is sneaking back into the house and you tragically and mistakenly think it is an intruder.
- You cannot invite the intruder into the house or car just to get a free shot at him. The entry has to be forceful and unlawful, unless we are dealing with a kidnapping or removal scenario.
- If you are in your dwelling or residence, and all of the above are met, you are presumed to act reasonably in the eyes of the law in the use of deadly force.
- If you are in your car, and all of the above are met, you are presumed to act reasonably in the eyes of the law in the use of deadly force.
Summary of Stand Your Ground:
- Be aware that the law is not as extensive as many suggest.
- If you have no legal right to be where you are, are engaged in criminal activity, or are in illegal possession of a firearm, the protections do not apply.
- If your attacker does not display what is or appears to be a deadly weapon, the protections do not apply (you must retreat if it can be done with complete safety).
- You must reasonably believe deadly force is immediately necessary to do so to protect yourself against death, serious bodily injury, kidnapping, or sexual intercourse by force or threat.
- Stand Your Ground does not protect uses of force against known law enforcement officers.
- If all of the above requirements are met, the law eliminates the duty to retreat, and the use of deadly force is permitted.